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Cannot Find Page

The story of my life “cannot find page”.  It reminds me of elementary school. At Richland Avenue Elementary school, in any given grade, there was usually a reading hour a couple of times a week.  Dependent upon how smart or well read you the more challenging of a text book you were given at the start of every year.  Reading required students to make logical assumptions about the stories you were given, challenged you to give summaries of the story and enhanced your ability to read aloud for that public speaking job you were going to apply for when you graduated high school with Toastmasters. 
You know when it was your turn to read, but you weren't paying attention … and when the teacher said "Lola Nation" (three times the first two she gave me time to find my place, but the last was always said with that scowling finger-pointing that required no tentacles).
Finally I’d cop up "I lost my place, my bookmark fell, where were we?" and I wasn't on the same page as the rest of the class, I probably wasn’t even reading the same book … which reminds, me too, of the time I got stoned and my best friend I were having a conversation with each other. Except we were not talking at all about the same thing.  I remember admitting finally when out from a hazy smoke in my head I thought (wtf is she talking about) "we're not on the same page" and lastly, it all started when I tried to click on this link and got a message that…

Cannot Find Server

I couldn't find the server. Oh my God, don't you hate it when that happens, I mean really. I remember being in CPK (California Pizza Kitchen) and my friend and I are sitting at the table, it's one of those "awkward" dates where you are having the mental battle over the check.
I'm thinking I'll do the bathroom maneuver, he'll pay and I'll claim to have no cash, right?  As we sit there and the conversation is say, dry as the "hard" (old) pita bread we had with humus. 
Anyway, we're sitting there I have sucked every part of the wine down from my empty glass.  Now I know how my cats feel when I forget to fill the water bowl licking the glass all the way around trying to suckle up any point of moisture because I’m licking the glass as best I can to do the same.  
I’m still trying to time the bathroom thing…About - 45 minutes later after the manager tells us that the restaurant will be closing soon, we're still sitting, waiting...
I think forget it - I'll just get up and use the restroom. What did I find?  The server.  Od'd.
I took her tips and left - there was a back door the whole time and don't you know it, that guy I left at the table called and left a nasty message "I was going to split the bill with you, gee, I wouldn't have made you pay the whole thing.” 
Split the bill!  Hah! So, I get frustrated after listening to his message, right? I figure, I don’t want to talk to cheapskate, so I’ll just send him an email, it’s about that time I log on to my computer and what should it day? 
Cannot Find Server. 



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