Alissa got up from the sofa and walked into the spare room. Sean was tidying up. She stood in the doorway watching him, admiring his methodical mannerisms. As he picked up the yellow towel, he peered up from the floor and whipped at her leg, she caught the towel mid-air on its return to Sean, he yanked and she came toward him unbalanced. Catching her with his left arm he kissed her.
Everything suddenly slowed down, an overwhelming sense of dizziness shook Alissa and then she found herself straightening up, still face to face with Sean, her hand caressing his cheek and coming in for another kiss. They stood softly kissing, treading unfamiliar territory for a few seconds. Sean tossed the towel into the hamper. Alissa walked backward to the wall by the door frame, leaning she accidentally turned on the light and nervously laughed. She knew better than to speak. It had happened, something she dreamed of for years and she would not let a volley of emotion interrupt the serenity. She was however disappointed. She’d managed to stifle her feelings far enough down that she no longer felt the same toward Sean, she’d finally accepted their friendship for what it was. No secrets, they spoke openly of their pasts and present situations. Cast judgment when due and gave advice when needed, now, after all his rejection he had trespassed an area she had blocked off for no one.
He continued to pick up after himself, silent. He didn’t look her way again. She stared at him full of lust and anger. She didn’t move from her miserable stance while the floor space became blatantly clear with very little left to occupy him with. He walked from the opposite end of the room toward the door, on his way he stopped again and kissed her, chin in his hand. Eyes still closed, he walked down the hallway toward the living room. Confused, she followed and planted herself onto the sofa.
Tucker, his dog, sat at her feet, his tail slapping the carpet restlessly.
“I have to run some errands.”
“Oh, okay.” Alissa took her shoes from the side of the sofa and started to lace them. She wanted him to say something, to validate what had just happened, to tell her that he suddenly had realized how much he loved her and wanted her in his life. She knew too that he was the one in control, as always. She knew too that the moment had passed. It wasn’t curiosity or a deep passion that had stirred him but a need to finally show affection. He would never tell her what her presence meant to him, she would wonder, compare, feel comfortable and then find herself fitfully jealous of others who appeared just as at ease with him. He had always been kind, even in his cruelest moments. She knew that he cared, perhaps sometimes more than others and he may never feel the same desire, but he loved her, she convinced herself of that much.
He had started to shave when she was finished tying her shoes. The bathroom door was closed. She waited on the sofa for twenty minutes before he came out.
“Off to Chicago tomorrow, right?” He said, picking up his shoes and heading to the sofa to sit down.
“Yeah.” She said vaguely.
“You can keep moving, but you know that you take you wherever you go. Doesn’t change anything.”
“Right, but you know, you can never go home again either.” She picked up her purse as he looked up from his foot and nodded.
“Christmas?” He said.
“Probably.” She answered. She thanked him for having her over and let herself out the door.
Everything suddenly slowed down, an overwhelming sense of dizziness shook Alissa and then she found herself straightening up, still face to face with Sean, her hand caressing his cheek and coming in for another kiss. They stood softly kissing, treading unfamiliar territory for a few seconds. Sean tossed the towel into the hamper. Alissa walked backward to the wall by the door frame, leaning she accidentally turned on the light and nervously laughed. She knew better than to speak. It had happened, something she dreamed of for years and she would not let a volley of emotion interrupt the serenity. She was however disappointed. She’d managed to stifle her feelings far enough down that she no longer felt the same toward Sean, she’d finally accepted their friendship for what it was. No secrets, they spoke openly of their pasts and present situations. Cast judgment when due and gave advice when needed, now, after all his rejection he had trespassed an area she had blocked off for no one.
He continued to pick up after himself, silent. He didn’t look her way again. She stared at him full of lust and anger. She didn’t move from her miserable stance while the floor space became blatantly clear with very little left to occupy him with. He walked from the opposite end of the room toward the door, on his way he stopped again and kissed her, chin in his hand. Eyes still closed, he walked down the hallway toward the living room. Confused, she followed and planted herself onto the sofa.
Tucker, his dog, sat at her feet, his tail slapping the carpet restlessly.
“I have to run some errands.”
“Oh, okay.” Alissa took her shoes from the side of the sofa and started to lace them. She wanted him to say something, to validate what had just happened, to tell her that he suddenly had realized how much he loved her and wanted her in his life. She knew too that he was the one in control, as always. She knew too that the moment had passed. It wasn’t curiosity or a deep passion that had stirred him but a need to finally show affection. He would never tell her what her presence meant to him, she would wonder, compare, feel comfortable and then find herself fitfully jealous of others who appeared just as at ease with him. He had always been kind, even in his cruelest moments. She knew that he cared, perhaps sometimes more than others and he may never feel the same desire, but he loved her, she convinced herself of that much.
He had started to shave when she was finished tying her shoes. The bathroom door was closed. She waited on the sofa for twenty minutes before he came out.
“Off to Chicago tomorrow, right?” He said, picking up his shoes and heading to the sofa to sit down.
“Yeah.” She said vaguely.
“You can keep moving, but you know that you take you wherever you go. Doesn’t change anything.”
“Right, but you know, you can never go home again either.” She picked up her purse as he looked up from his foot and nodded.
“Christmas?” He said.
“Probably.” She answered. She thanked him for having her over and let herself out the door.
Comments
Post a Comment